Taking the positives: cancer

As some of you might know, i’ve had cancer (Hodgkin Lymphoma) for the past year and went through 5 months of chemotherapy (Elevated BEACOPDac) from December last year, after which my PET-scan seemed clear so far.

After living through periods where i knew i was dying but no doctors had any idea what i had, then knowing and going through heavy chemo treatment, it gives you some perspectives on life and shit.

So here is a list, in no particular order, of things that cancer and chemo improved about myself:

• my fear of dying is very reduced
• some of my social anxieties are reduced too
• it gave me time/reason to think of what i want to leave behind
• it gave me time/reason to think of what i want to do before i die
• i used to look away when i had some blood drawn and be a little squeamish about it, now i look at it and find it facinating
• i learned to stab myself with a needle if i need to inject myself subcutaneous medications
• i got to try different hairstyles and haircolours using wigs
• i got to see what my scalp looks like (i’m used to have hair to it was a first for me)
• i got to experience my whole body without hair. Honestly it’s pretty awesome except for hair, eyelashes and eyebrows
• as someone who struggles with appetite/remembering to eat/... before cancer, i found Prednisolone pretty great xD

Anyway. Life is an adventure, sometimes it gets cut short and that’s ok, but from my experience when we get close to that point without having thought about it seriously before, the main regret is "i wish i had done my best to do <life goal / something you want to get remembered by>". Because when you get to that point, you’re usually not able to get out of the hospital or room anymore.

So think early and work toward it. Dream big. Put your pictures/music/files you want people to remember you by on an M-DISC or something somewhere. Enjoy your loved-ones. Try new things. Etc.

Even shit things have positive sides and i'm here for the adventure.